Weird

As Denver’s newsweekly Westword asked in a May 2009 story, “Where would you take a $100,000 check that is also a suicide note, to the cops or to the bank?” In July 2008, John Francis Beech, a retired executive in Denver, sent a check for $100,000 to a local charity, postdated to Aug. 1, accompanied […]

Not Ready for Prime Time: In January, police in Cape Coral, Fla., were seeking LaKeitha Watson-Atkinson for shoplifting from a TJ Maxx. The thief escaped after running from store security, but not before she was knocked down twice by her getaway car. In the commotion, a check made out to Watson-Atkinson fell to the ground. […]

Critters 4, Humans 0: A 17-year-old boy in Reno, Nev., accidentally set his family’s house on fire trying to kill spiders (August). A woman in Santa Fe, N.M., accidentally caused severe fire damage to her home while trying to torch a rattlesnake (July). A 26-year-old man in Mobile, Ala., accidentally caused $80,000 damage to his […]

Elderly drivers’ recent lapses of concentration, confusing the brake pedal with the gas (or however artfully they explain it): A Norfolk, Va., woman, 86, crashed against a Rite Aid pharmacy, damaging a vending machine (May). A Lake Oswego, Ore., man, 81, crashed through the front of a U.S. Bank building, sending employees scurrying (February). A […]

Angel Cruz, 49, was indicted in August in Florida for various dubious financial schemes, including attempting to convince employees and contractors to accept his “United Cities Group” “currency” as of parallel value with U.S. currency. Cruz came to federal prosecutors’ attention when he tried to sneak $214 million of UCG money into a Bank of […]

In December 2003, Yves Julien worked a regular 11-hour shift, plus overtime, all at premium pay, for the Canada Border Services Agency, and then demanded an additional $9 (Cdn) for a sandwich he had purchased when asked to put in the extra hours. The agency said he was not entitled, by contract, because the overtime […]

Police in Knoxville, Tenn., arrested Richard Smith, 25, in September after he called 911 from an air duct in the Knoxville Museum of Art, and Smith immediately volunteered that he was “special agent 0-9-3-1” with the “United States Illuminati” and that he had come to retrieve a nuclear warhead from the Soviet Union that was […]

The incredibly patient Joseph Shepard Sr., 53, sat quietly in St. Louis-area lockups for more than two years expecting that his lawyer, Michael Kelly, was working for his release on bond, but it turns out neither Kelly nor prosecutors nor the judge was doing anything at all. In fact, Shepard seemed innocently happy when a […]

Least Competent Criminals: Michael Mahoney, 25, is the most recent rapist (according to police in Somerville, Mass.) to believe he is such hot stuff that he gave his phone number to the victim, certain that he had charmed her into wanting to keep seeing him. Police quickly arrested him in July at home, where he […]

A 21-year-old man fishing off Jones Beach on New York’s Long Island in July was killed when he yanked his line back too quickly, propelling his 3-ounce lead sinker out of the water, where it struck his head and penetrated his brain. A 32-year-old man lounging beside a pool in Leland, N.C., in August was […]