Chicken-Fried News

The staff of CFN heard what sounded liked the Greased Lightnin’ car barreling through the parking lot on Feb. 28.   CFN’s chief photographer hopped into his trusty blue pickup truck earlier that day and started her up.   “Much to my surprise, it was louder than the stock car racers down by the river,” […]

E-mail can sometimes be evil. Once the send button is pressed on the keyboard, there’s no return.   One of the University of Oklahoma’s athletic department public relations specialists learned that lesson. Most fans of women’s college basketball know how dominant OU’s Courtney Paris is on the court. Since arriving in Norman three years ago, […]

Cheer up, George Clooney, Julie Christie, Cate Blanchett and all those who didn’t take home a golden guy on Feb. 24’s Academy Awards ceremony. At least you’re not Gary Busey.   In E!’s red-carpet coverage before the show started, host Ryan Seacrest was talking with best Actress nominee Laura Linney (“The Savages”) and presenter Jennifer […]

First, he was for the war. Now, he says it was a mistake. This would normally sound like an attack from a Republican against one of those namby-pamby Democrats who has changed his or her mind about the war in Iraq.   But, hold on. It turns out this is not a case of a […]

In case you’re worried about getting hit by FSD from the nonfunctional National Reconnaissance Office ” or NRO ” satellite shot down last week, Sen. James Inhofe issued the following statement to the CFN World Headquarters:   “I commend the men and women of the United States military, especially the sailors aboard the U.S.S. Lake […]

In case you’re keeping track (and CFN is), you can add President George W. Bush to the list of politicians with whom Sen. James Inhofe disagrees. According to an interview with The Norman Transcript, the Tulsa Republican hasn’t agreed with the commander in chief several times recently. And we’re not talking about arguing with Bush […]

Here you have it ” another reason not to leave your house in the morning: injury by “falling space debris.”   A Tulsa woman holds the dubious record of being the only person ever to have been hit by CFN-coined “FSD,” according to a recent report in The Oklahoman, coinciding with the United States’ shooting […]

We haven’t trusted a plant since our childhood days, watching Saturday-afternoon airings of the Sixties sci-fi film “The Day of the Triffids,” and now a new report from Mother Earth News suggests our suspicions may be justified.   An article titled “The Weed from Hell” discusses the “killer” weed known as the tropical soda apple. […]

What a flap, Jack.   A man was arrested by Oklahoma City police last week after he found his flapjacks lacking, according to a story by KWTV Channel 9.   According to police reports cited by KWTV, Jacob Andrew Laws, 28, was upset about his pancakes and started a breakfast brawl with his wife. The […]

Hey, Kelvin Sampson; the phone is ringing. It’s the NCAA.   Less than two years removed from his men’s head basketball coaching duties at the University of Oklahoma, Sampson finds himself in trouble at Indiana University for the same reasons.   Last week, the NCAA released a report listing five major violations against Sampson. The […]