Unfortunately for him, avant-garde musicians Sanna (Sanna Persson) and Magnus (Magnus Börjeson) are plotting something big: a full-scale, public performance of his masterpiece, Music for One City and Six Drummers. They only need four more drummers, so they recruit them Blues Brothers style, in order to “give this city a concert it’ll never forget.” Welcome […]
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God Bless America
Frank (Joel Murray, TV’s Mad Men) is tired. Of everything. But mostly how stupid and how ignorant and superficial his fellow Americans have become, how incapable they are of face-to-face conversation, how the only things they seem to believe in are shallow platitudes and singing competitions, how spoiled and disrespectful they allow their children to […]
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Red Scorpion
Nearly two years later, Synapse Films comes to the rescue, not only bringing it back on DVD, but debuting it on Blu-ray — and in an uncensored cut, no less! Now that I’ve watched it, I can say with certainty it’s the best action movie ever produced by a notorious federal felon (Jack Abramoff, who […]
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Back from Eternity
Had I known that, I may not have even given the Warner Archive release a shot, but I was suckered in by its cover. Utilizing artwork from the film’s original 1956 release, it depicts a super-sexy, RTF visage of Anita Ekberg (Call Me Bwana, The Killer Nun) staring straight at the viewer. The tagline: “Ooh […]
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Wrath of the Titans
The irony, naturally, is that Wrath is the superior picture. Not only was it actually intended to be 3-D from the green light, but the script made more sense. With fewer titans clashing about, this follow-up is far easier to, well, follow. Perseus (Sam Worthington, Avatar, Texas Killing Fields) has chosen not to live as […]
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The FP
The credo of 248 leader JTRO (Jason Trost, who co-wrote and co-directed with his brother, Brandon) is “We roll together, we die together.” That’s tested when JTRO vows never to play again after BTRO dies during a rather heated Beat-off (go ahead, snicker) against 245 head L Dubba E (Lee Valmassy), and disappears. A year […]
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Don’t Go in the Woods
The first feature as director for longtime fine actor Vincent D’Onofrio (Kill the Irishman), Woods is as ambling as the five young musicians — one of whom is blind — who drive their van to a forest for a songwriting retreat, where the following things are not allowed: booze, drugs, girls, phones and common sense. That […]
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A Bag of Hammers
Jason Ritter (The Perfect Family) and co-writer Jake Sandvig (Easy A) star as best buds Ben and Alan, two con men who make money off a valet-parking scheme. But other than that, they’re really nice guys. The axis of their felonious world shifts when they meet a boy who moves into the neighborhood with his […]
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Sector 7
Also reminiscent of everything from James Cameron’s The Abyss to Stephen Sommers’ Deep Rising, but with multiple mentions of feng shui, the Korean sci-fi film takes place on a real-life ocean drilling rig, where work is on hold due to a stuck drill bit. Nevertheless, tough girl Ha Ji-won (Tidal Wave) is determined to find […]
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D.O.A.
Dennis Quaid stars as English professor Dexter Cornell, who somehow contracts a fatal toxin that glows Re-Animator green and gives him 24 hours to live. Rather than just bang one of his students — well, he does that, too — he sets out to find who’s slipped him one mammoth mickey. And in doing so, […]